i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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