I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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