Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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