he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
