so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
