guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
