My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
