The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
whose ass print is on the piano?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
