It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
