the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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