You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
