i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
