i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
