he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
