This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
