This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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