I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
