someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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