Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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