Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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