if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
