Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Rumble strips road head = magical
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
