someone get that fucking seahorse.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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