worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
