BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
