3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
