p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
