Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
