I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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