just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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