We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
