its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
