it wasn't lemon gatorade
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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