I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
