I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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