Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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