Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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