yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
