We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
