I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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