2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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