You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
