I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
