erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
