We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
