Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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