i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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