you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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