): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
