I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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