You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
