Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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